clipping wings... feathers and other things...

my candles burn bright, i burn brighter they help my room and heart feel lighter. they glow and i feel it in my soul. i turn them on to make myself feel better something about writing in candle light makes me feel like it will all be alright. these sentences i write they come and they go,some take flight and others fall into the night. i know what i want to say but im afraid to. im afraid of letting my feelings be known. for knowledge is power and when it comes to my feelings im just not sure i want anyone to have that sort of control over me and my being.

ive been dancing more lately than before. the concepts make more and more sense to me daily. and the community the dance provides for me continually inspires me. they are a set of amazing people and im proud to call them my friends. from our talks about hannah barbra cartoons (kai = great gazoo, delila = dizzy devil, jason = shaggy, and rob = marvin the martain... more to come.) to tattoos, music, dance, life, travel, love, and so much more i wouldnt trade them not for a single moment. they are helping me open my eyes, grow as a person and mature. i love them. (and if you'd like to know where to find them floasis.net is the place to start). Liquid dancing is a huge part of my life now. It fills a part of me that i didnt know was missing until it found me.

ive been thinking about the things i want out of life, the things i want to accomplish and kick off of my bucket list. and sadly the list keeps growing but nothing is getting crossed off. i need to make myself do what it is i dream to do while i still have time on this earth to do so.

and this becoming a woman thing, this becoming an adult thing is tuff. feels like reality ruffles my feathers more and more daily. the word jaded is becoming more and more familiar to me and that scares me. where is the love? where is the peace? ( im looking for it, looking for it inside of me.)

i've been wearing this heavy heart for a few days now and it just doesnt suit me. i miss my smile.