so much has happened from the time i wrote last up until current. my party life is winding down and i love the change of pace. i'm ready to enjoy the earth again its beauty, and thanks to a friend now more than ever i want to learn a way to help preserve it. i can say that these last 2 maybe 3 weeks i have been growing at an alarming rate mentally, artistically, emotionally, and in all the ways that count for when joining the realm of adulthood. please don't get me wrong i know i am still a child but i am not unaware of the fact that the time to not waste in my life is now. the time to build for my future is present and that i must not let it be overshadowed by the flashing lights in the most literal sense. yes it is okay to have fun, but by no means should fun be the only thing my life consist of. i need to prepare for my future and its something that i should have been working on yesterday a year ago... i'm learning that passion and persistence are the key to getting where you want to go and where you need to be, i am also dually learning that along the way it is okay to indulge in the present. so long as enjoying the right now is done after the preparation for my future has been worked on. i'm discovering this thing called self worth and i have plenty that is worth more than anyone person can put a price on. i have to stop selling myself short and just try the worst i can do is not get it right the first time around. cause trying doesn't mean doing something once and quitting. it means continually working towards the larger goal and finding the errors and fixing them along the way. i want to work on my life again. i want to remember what made me happy before and so i did some digging into my past and into my family. it has been there all along. what i love has not changed and i doubt it ever will. fear stopped me from attempting my goal once before this time it doesn't stand a chance.i want to teach kindergarten and i am going to do it. i love children they are the most perfect beings in the universe right now and i want to be there to remind them that they are amazing just as is and can do all they want if they really want it. i want to teach it is my life goal. on the side of teaching there are dozens of things i want to do but none are as deeply set in my heart as teaching is.
i want to say thank you to a friend who has been giving me advice when i seek it, and that has the patience to not wig out on me for still being a child and can see i'm finally just starting to grow into me. so thank you it means so very much to me.
thats all for this post. i've got some soul searching and thinking to do and i want to write a personal entry in my journal just for me.
